The blessing of it all is that I have many doors. I am not in a room full of blank wall. I am not worried about my future...just unsure. And honestly, I'm not completely unemployed because I will be working EFY very shortly (I just don't completely think of EFY as work. I am just lucky to get paid to play). And I am also hired as a part-time seminary teacher. If only that pay were enough to survive on.
Life is full of changes. Change brings growth. Growth brings happiness. I definitely want (and have) happiness. Even though this time of decision seem overwhelming and stressful, I know that I will be guided. The Lord has brought me this far. He won't leave me now. I look forward to opening new doors and having the faith to step over the threshold.
1 comment:
Kara, this post really struck a chord with me. Even though my situation is quite different from yours right now, I still feel many similar feelings to what you described. As our baby is due this week (eek!) I will be becoming a stay-at-home-mom --which is a door that I was really starting to believe wasn't going to open for me ever. But now that I am on the threshold of it, I feel so scared, mostly because of the unknown that is beyond the door. I look around me at all the other doors I haven't taken time to open or try yet, and wonder what they would have held for me.
Luckily, for both of us, we have the Spirit in our lives, to lead us (eventually) to the right door, to assure us that what we have chosen is correct, and to help us take that leap of faith when fear and trepidation seem to be overpowering our own strength.
Good luck with EFY and seminary - I am so excited for you that you get to do that!
I know you will be blessed!
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