I actually had another thought for this week's post (it may end up my lesson for next week's posting) but after talking with my sweet cousin tonight, my thoughts have gone a different direction. Something that is very near to my own heart is the concept of waiting on the Lord. For some reason, patience is an important virtue that we all need to learn. As is trust.
I find myself 33 years old and still waiting for that wonderful blessing of marriage and a family of my own. I have desired since I was a little girl to enjoy this blessing. I have watched my parents enjoy such happiness in their companionship and I hope to enjoy that same happiness. Yet for some reason it just hasn't come my way. I've spent many long hours wondering what I have done to not be given this blessing or what mistakes I have made that have taken me off the list of those who get to enjoy an eternal marriage. I've wondered if I am just not marriage material or if there are lessons that I am not learning. To be honest, I still don't know which, if any, of these it is.
One thing is for sure, I most definitely don't have the eternal perspective that the Lord has. Like the Lord, I am constantly trying to convince my students the importance of learning hard lessons right now because it will help them be better prepared for things to come later because I have experienced things they have not and have a better view of the big picture. Few days go by that I don't hear, 'When are we ever going to use this?' In reality, I don't have an answer for my students. Some of them will use math in their careers. Others will not. Some of them will go to college and need it to score well on the ACT or SAT. Others will not. But I tell them (because this I believe is true for every student) that learning math teaches us to think logically and learn how to problem solve. We will all have problems throughout our life and if we know how to logically think through them we will be able to solve them more quickly...just like their problems on their homework. The better we train our brain to think through problems, the easier it is to solve them. Of course, they don't care to hear that because it doesn't affect them RIGHT NOW. In a teenagers' mind if it doesn't matter RIGHT NOW, it doesn't matter. Having a broader perspective on things is not easy to do.
But quite honestly, I can completely relate to that thinking. I have no idea what the Lord has in store for me in the future in this life or in the eternities. I don't know how or if these lessons that I am being taught will be useful in the some future time (some I know are taught over and over because I don't seem to learn them). And right now, those lessons don't seem important...just hard! So why do I have to learn them or experience this hard right now? Haven't I endured it long enough? Will it really make that big of a difference in the future or in the eternities? Sometimes I don't even care, I just don't even want to try and if possible would really like to drop this class and take one that is much more enjoyable...like marriage and family. :)
Reality is, I don't see the bigger picture. Like my students I get stuck in the NOW mindset and I just want things to be easy now. I don't want to have to struggle every day to understand what is going on. I don't want to take the next test because I know I might fail. I don't want to have to keep trying after I fail and learn the old material so I can be better prepared for the next test. It's too hard and doesn't seem to have purpose RIGHT NOW.
This is where patience and trust come in. My students most likely will not see the purpose of learning math while still in my class so I will never experience with them that moment when they can look back and see there was purpose to struggling through the hard. Some may wish they would have tried harder. Some may be grateful they did try hard. I hope that when I am able to look back and see the purpose for this hard time that I will be grateful that I did try hard (which I hope still entails a few failing grades of bitterness, and negativity, and lack of faith, and doubt, and weakness because I have definitely already received some of those). And I hope that right now I can put my trust in my Master Teacher knowing He sees the bigger picture and wants more than anything to prepare me for all that is to come and He also wants my success and happiness in all things. I know that is what I want for my students and I know it is an even more perfect desire from Christ. He is the Master Teacher. He knows all things. He sees all things. All He asks is for us to trust Him in ALL things so He can direct our paths (see Proverbs 3:5-6).
I find myself 33 years old and still waiting for that wonderful blessing of marriage and a family of my own. I have desired since I was a little girl to enjoy this blessing. I have watched my parents enjoy such happiness in their companionship and I hope to enjoy that same happiness. Yet for some reason it just hasn't come my way. I've spent many long hours wondering what I have done to not be given this blessing or what mistakes I have made that have taken me off the list of those who get to enjoy an eternal marriage. I've wondered if I am just not marriage material or if there are lessons that I am not learning. To be honest, I still don't know which, if any, of these it is.
One thing is for sure, I most definitely don't have the eternal perspective that the Lord has. Like the Lord, I am constantly trying to convince my students the importance of learning hard lessons right now because it will help them be better prepared for things to come later because I have experienced things they have not and have a better view of the big picture. Few days go by that I don't hear, 'When are we ever going to use this?' In reality, I don't have an answer for my students. Some of them will use math in their careers. Others will not. Some of them will go to college and need it to score well on the ACT or SAT. Others will not. But I tell them (because this I believe is true for every student) that learning math teaches us to think logically and learn how to problem solve. We will all have problems throughout our life and if we know how to logically think through them we will be able to solve them more quickly...just like their problems on their homework. The better we train our brain to think through problems, the easier it is to solve them. Of course, they don't care to hear that because it doesn't affect them RIGHT NOW. In a teenagers' mind if it doesn't matter RIGHT NOW, it doesn't matter. Having a broader perspective on things is not easy to do.
But quite honestly, I can completely relate to that thinking. I have no idea what the Lord has in store for me in the future in this life or in the eternities. I don't know how or if these lessons that I am being taught will be useful in the some future time (some I know are taught over and over because I don't seem to learn them). And right now, those lessons don't seem important...just hard! So why do I have to learn them or experience this hard right now? Haven't I endured it long enough? Will it really make that big of a difference in the future or in the eternities? Sometimes I don't even care, I just don't even want to try and if possible would really like to drop this class and take one that is much more enjoyable...like marriage and family. :)
Reality is, I don't see the bigger picture. Like my students I get stuck in the NOW mindset and I just want things to be easy now. I don't want to have to struggle every day to understand what is going on. I don't want to take the next test because I know I might fail. I don't want to have to keep trying after I fail and learn the old material so I can be better prepared for the next test. It's too hard and doesn't seem to have purpose RIGHT NOW.
This is where patience and trust come in. My students most likely will not see the purpose of learning math while still in my class so I will never experience with them that moment when they can look back and see there was purpose to struggling through the hard. Some may wish they would have tried harder. Some may be grateful they did try hard. I hope that when I am able to look back and see the purpose for this hard time that I will be grateful that I did try hard (which I hope still entails a few failing grades of bitterness, and negativity, and lack of faith, and doubt, and weakness because I have definitely already received some of those). And I hope that right now I can put my trust in my Master Teacher knowing He sees the bigger picture and wants more than anything to prepare me for all that is to come and He also wants my success and happiness in all things. I know that is what I want for my students and I know it is an even more perfect desire from Christ. He is the Master Teacher. He knows all things. He sees all things. All He asks is for us to trust Him in ALL things so He can direct our paths (see Proverbs 3:5-6).
No comments:
Post a Comment